Christmas Sucks

by Rob From Amersfoort

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1.
Save Me From Christmas (free) 02:03
oh how I hate Christmas it's happening every year this ass hole from the North pool and his drunken reindeer it's happening every year it's happening every year the same loneliness the same fear Christmas sucks Christmas sucks Christmas sucks Christmas sucks everywhere you hear the same cliche songs peace on earth never seemed so wrong oh how I wish to be somewhere else at another planet with no Christmas bells save me save me please help me now save me save me to escape somehow
2.
the invitation you cannot ignore if you refuse your boss keeps score listen to the management and eat their lousy food the tacky decorations bring me in a hateful mood let's destroy the building or poison them all finally some rest for my stressed out soul
3.
Smash The Elves (free) 02:27
so we got to dine tonight so we get the turkey tonight and listen to the same songs on repeat and watch a tacky Disney movie why don't we smash the elves why don't we zap the Santa and try to be ourselves just be ourselves so we get presents tonight so we get a useless gift tonight and tell your family you love them so every year we put on the same show why don't we smash the elves why don't we zap the Santa and try to be ourselves just be ourselves our boring selves
4.
Stop The Tree Massacre (free) 01:49
we chop them putt stuff on them and then we burn them people say they care about the environment but at Christmas that devotion is absent save the trees save the trees save the trees stop the tree killers mutilate a living thing take it home hang shit on it then kick it to the curb is it worth it who do you do it they want to live in the forest not in your room
5.
it's the time of the year we should go shopping I fear but the turkey can fly away I want it another way let's skip Christmas this year there are so many songs I don't want to hear let's skip Christmas this year and go to the beach my dear turning on the TV ain't fair the same old movies I can't bear no wonderful life anymore watching Disney makes me soar let's skip Christmas this year there are so many songs I don't want to hear let's skip Christmas this year and go to the zoo my dear let's ignore the family dining I don't want to hear their whining the roads are dangerous anyway we can order take away let's skip Christmas this year there are so many songs I don't want to hear so let's skip Christmas this year and go to bed my dear
6.
Christmas Sucks (free) 02:00
it starts way too early September is too soon shopping in a hurry the whole afternoon blinded by streets covered in light trampled by reindeers in the snowy night Christmas sucks so much that old bastard dressed in red luring children and putting you in debts I miss summer so much Christmas sucks so much little baby Jesus wasn't born this day he wasn't even Christian I dare to say no three kings and no star navigation it's just a mythical conceptualization
7.
Charles Dickens is a jerk Charles Dickens is a jerk Charles Dickens is a jerk Charles Dickens is a jerk he left his wife and his ten children to live with an 18-year-old girl Charles Dickens is a jerk Charles Dickens is a jerk Charles Dickens is a jerk a big lousy jerk
8.
Christmas Is So Phony (free) 01:30
Christmas blablabla the same old bull every year yes we love each other only in December my dear the other months we shoot kill and rape Darwin was right we are just ape Here are the phony fakes It's too much this year The same old mistakes I long for the new year do as you say once in a while practice your beliefs instead of being so docile Here are the phony fakes It's too much this year The same old mistakes I long for the new year money is not the most important thing to care about Christmas is so phony! Christmas is so phony! Christmas is so phony! Christmas is so phony! lying to your children is not the way to raise a child always tell the truth and not once in a while
9.
I Don't Like Xmas (free) 01:24
The jingle bells The drunken Santa It's a red and white hell Christmas ain't no friend of mine It's even worse than Valentine I don't like Christmas Starting in September Ending in May Social obligations And all those debs to pay
10.
with no nice family you're out in the cold eating turkey alone in your silent home in the dark cold night shivering and freezing the only sound you hear is your sniffing and sneezing So Glad It's Christmas Again So Glad It's Christmas Again So Glad It's Christmas Again So Glad It's Christmas Again the awkward family dinner once a year not speaking to each other for the love of fear secrets in the closet turkey in the oven singing cliche carols like it really matters So Glad It's Christmas Again So Glad It's Christmas Again So Glad It's Christmas Again So Glad It's Christmas Again another turkey slaughtered for your fancy dinner you could have been wiser you could have been kinder the turkey is burned the tree is dead the lights short-circuited baby Jesus lost his head So Glad It's Christmas Again So Glad It's Christmas Again So Glad It's Christmas Again So Glad It's Christmas Again I crawl under the blankets and close my eyes sick of the festivities sick of the lies
11.
obligated rituals serving no goal other than to enrich the almighty powerful forced gaiety wretched social obligations frenzied travel plans to cross the nation Christmas No Thanx Christmas No Thanx Christmas No Thanx Christmas No Thanx cheap plastic balls made by slave labored Chinese working day and night for some lousy fees it's forbidden to say to my frustration this religious holiday is now a perverse imitation Christmas No Thanx (Hallelujah) Christmas No Thanx (Hallelujah) Christmas No Thanx (Hallelujah) Christmas No Thanx (Hallelujah) rates of depression and a suicide spike is that the price is that what we like
12.
Hypocrites (free) 02:00
I really don't know why we're celebrating Christmas I really don't know why we're still put up this show I really don't know why we don't just forget this I really don't know I really don't know peace on Earth what is it worth singing stupid carols won't solve anything at all hypocrites hypocrites it's just a ploy to get us shopping make the rich more richer make the poor more poorer hypocrites hypocrites hypocrites hypocrite celebrate Christmas while the other half of the planet is starving or dying children are crying while we are watching commercials we feel so special greed is everywhere when did we stop to care
13.
Decapitate Frosty (free) 01:37
some people feel the need to do awful things in the summer heat I say suppress it until winter arrives and then let the snowmen pay with their lives decapitate Frosty make him pay chop his head off and run away there aren't many snowmen in the middle east that may explain why there is no peace let's expedite Frosty to that place so we have a kinder human race decapitate Frosty make him feel chop his head off it's almost real harass his white ass make him confess white privilege is not a success Frosty the snowman your time has come Frosty Frosty you are scum
14.
The Eternal Snow (free) 02:55
oooooh I lay in the snow The slippery snow Nowhere to go in the beautiful snow It frees me from these terrible thoughts I see and hear nothing Like a blanket is my snow oooooh I drift away in snow See nothing more than snow It covers everything The overwhelming snow It hides all my faults The innocent white I just lay down and let it cover me oooooh The cozy snow I want to be Forever frozen In the soft white snow
15.
bonus (free) 01:22
Christmas sucks And winter too (kcuf Christmas)

about

Recorded 2-22 December 2017 (except #9 recorded 2013 remastered 2017).

A serious anti-Christmas pop album.

Guaranteed sleigh bells free!

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released December 23, 2017

cover image of Santa: www.wallpapersweb.com.

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Rob From Amersfoort Amersfoort, The Netherlands

Post-Retro Indie-Pop

Influences: Beatles, Prince, Fiona Apple, Roxy Music, Elliott Smith, Bowie, Harry Nilsson, Michael Penn, Suzanne Vega, Neil Finn, Wilco, Liz Phair.

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